Monday, October 25, 2010
♥ Sepi (Loneliness)..
I have watched Sepi a dozen of times and the film never fails to make me cry especially the ending of Sufi's story. I don't know why, but it kind of touches my heart in a way that I can relate to the story. As if it is a part of my life.
One part of the dialogue that I like is the part where Sufi (played by Tony Eusoff) says to Marya (played by Eja) - kenapa dalam beribu orang di dunia kita dipilih untuk bertemu tetapi tidak untuk bersama? (why is that in the thousands of people in the world, we are chosen to meet but not destined to be together?). It keeps me wondering the wonders of the world and why God chooses some people to meet just for the sake of meeting new people and fall in love with others. And it also keeps me wondering when will I find the person that I am destined to be together. But I truly know that He knows what's best.
Anyway, I really love the poetry in the play that Sein recites.
Bisikku pada bulan (I whisper to the moon)
Kembalikan temanku, kekasihku, syurgaku (Return me my friend, my lover, my heaven)
Tanpa dia malam menemaniku (Without her, the night accompanies me)
Sepi memelukku (Loneliness envelopes me)
Bulan jangan biar siang (O moon, don't turn the night into day)
Biar alam ini kelam (Let the world be blurred)
Biar ia sepi (Let it be lonely)
Sepertiku (Like me)
One part of the dialogue that I like is the part where Sufi (played by Tony Eusoff) says to Marya (played by Eja) - kenapa dalam beribu orang di dunia kita dipilih untuk bertemu tetapi tidak untuk bersama? (why is that in the thousands of people in the world, we are chosen to meet but not destined to be together?). It keeps me wondering the wonders of the world and why God chooses some people to meet just for the sake of meeting new people and fall in love with others. And it also keeps me wondering when will I find the person that I am destined to be together. But I truly know that He knows what's best.
Anyway, I really love the poetry in the play that Sein recites.
Bisikku pada bulan (I whisper to the moon)
Kembalikan temanku, kekasihku, syurgaku (Return me my friend, my lover, my heaven)
Tanpa dia malam menemaniku (Without her, the night accompanies me)
Sepi memelukku (Loneliness envelopes me)
Bulan jangan biar siang (O moon, don't turn the night into day)
Biar alam ini kelam (Let the world be blurred)
Biar ia sepi (Let it be lonely)
Sepertiku (Like me)
Labels: Life, Movies, Random ramblings
Am i really never good enough for you?
12:12 AM
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12:12 AM
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Friday, October 22, 2010
♥ Stress effects...
This is what I hate about stress. These couple of days (more like a week plus) have been stressful - in terms of work and personal life. I have been known (to myself that is) to overindulge in food to find comfort when having been stressed out. And guess what? I have gained a couple of kilos which took me weeks (nearly months) to shed! I hate this feeling!
I kind of noticed it when my body does not want to function efficiently as before after that first incident. And guess I was right!
Urgghh.. come to think about it, I hate myself for being weak. Will have to cope with it sooner or later. Better be soon.
I kind of noticed it when my body does not want to function efficiently as before after that first incident. And guess I was right!
Urgghh.. come to think about it, I hate myself for being weak. Will have to cope with it sooner or later. Better be soon.
Labels: Life, Random ramblings
Am i really never good enough for you?
10:39 PM
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10:39 PM
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Thursday, October 21, 2010
♥ Using your rage to something good...
I know that my last entry is about me feeling tired. I still am. After that entry, I went to the usual place doing the usual thing and bumped into the person I've been feeling tired of. And guess what? Upon seeing me approach, that person just stopped the usual activity and went off! I mean abruptly and not planned beforehand. And it looked like that person stopped because of me! The thing that I don't understand is that I've done NOTHING wrong and have actually done NOTHING at all. But it seems that that person is pissed or have something against me.
The attitude kind of got into me and made me feel angry and very frustrated. I mean, REALLY frustrated! And I was swearing under my breath and felt the urge to kick and punch that person! I wished that the person was in front of me so I could do those things - kick and punch that person. But unfortunately that person was not there. In the end, because of feeling full of rage and fury, I kind of built this strength and did what I usually do with full of energy. And letting the steam out like that feels so damn good. And I felt relieved instantly. But I did cry myself to sleep that night wondering why do I feel guilty if I didn't do anything wrong? And after releasing the rage and fury plus shed a few tears (buckets actually, but thinking about it now, it wasn't worth it), I slept like a log!
The main point is, if you have any feelings that you would like to let go, go do something that you like. the unwanted feelings (especially rage and fury and tension) will make you stronger and push you to the limit. and you'll absolutely feel better instantly.
The attitude kind of got into me and made me feel angry and very frustrated. I mean, REALLY frustrated! And I was swearing under my breath and felt the urge to kick and punch that person! I wished that the person was in front of me so I could do those things - kick and punch that person. But unfortunately that person was not there. In the end, because of feeling full of rage and fury, I kind of built this strength and did what I usually do with full of energy. And letting the steam out like that feels so damn good. And I felt relieved instantly. But I did cry myself to sleep that night wondering why do I feel guilty if I didn't do anything wrong? And after releasing the rage and fury plus shed a few tears (buckets actually, but thinking about it now, it wasn't worth it), I slept like a log!
The main point is, if you have any feelings that you would like to let go, go do something that you like. the unwanted feelings (especially rage and fury and tension) will make you stronger and push you to the limit. and you'll absolutely feel better instantly.
Labels: Life, Miscellaneous, Random ramblings
Am i really never good enough for you?
2:08 PM
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2:08 PM
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Monday, October 18, 2010
♥ I am tired...
I've always been very optimistic when it comes to feelings. Lately I noticed that I kind of turned to be a stalker without any intention. Well, yes in my heart, I want to be noticed. And I kind of have this feeling that sometimes things or the behavior portrayed is as if trying to make me notice it. But as I know my own self better, I have put it aside. Getting my hopes soaring high and then it vanishes in thin air, making me fall and hit rock bottom is extremely painful. That is why I seldom let myself get too deep in feelings. And that is also why some people will say that I look very 'fierce' and serious.
These couple of weeks, I have kind of developed the uneasy feeling again. And I kind of felt like I turned into a stalker. But thinking about it back, not all the time. I mean, accidentally I found out things. Not that I was desperately looking for it. It just came into the picture as if knowing about my feelings. It felt like I was destined to find those things.
But now, I just feel worse. And I am blaming myself for this feeling. What I can say is that I am tired. Just plain TIRED.
Tired of waiting.
Tired of wanting.
Tired of hoping.
Tired of wishing.
I am leaving it all to what fate has destined for me.
This matter is just as Coldplay's Fix You -
When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
These couple of weeks, I have kind of developed the uneasy feeling again. And I kind of felt like I turned into a stalker. But thinking about it back, not all the time. I mean, accidentally I found out things. Not that I was desperately looking for it. It just came into the picture as if knowing about my feelings. It felt like I was destined to find those things.
But now, I just feel worse. And I am blaming myself for this feeling. What I can say is that I am tired. Just plain TIRED.
Tired of waiting.
Tired of wanting.
Tired of hoping.
Tired of wishing.
I am leaving it all to what fate has destined for me.
This matter is just as Coldplay's Fix You -
When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Labels: Life, Miscellaneous, Random ramblings
Am i really never good enough for you?
2:50 PM
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2:50 PM
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Thursday, October 07, 2010
♥ Grinning from ear to ear...
You know when it comes to motivation, sometimes we need another person or something to motivate us. And I never thought that I'd find it in trying t achieve my dreams. It all started the first day. At first I was REALLY conscious with my own self. Having really low self-esteem sometimes really affects the way I feel. Especially in large crowds. Even though the crowd at that time was not that large, but I can feel my body being poked from stares and glares.
But one thing is that even I can feel the stares and glares, my eyes kind of landed at this particular person. The stares given by this person feels like penetrating into my skin right to the bone. But it has a kind of filter - this charm or aura kind of soften it.
I continued doing what I have to do and found out that the person is a regular. Never had the guts to smile or even glance let alone talk to the person. The only thing that I am brave enough to do is stare the person from a far and glancing once in a while to the person's car.
The good thing was that I was looking forward to do what I aim for and just because of the person. I even told a friend of mine and she insisted that I talk to that person. Even a 'hi' is enough. But I don't have the guts to do so.
Eventually, the day arrived. On the 5th of October, as I was doing what I usually do, that person smiled AND we started talking! Even it was just a sentence, but at least that is something.
And with that particular incident, it made me grin from ear to ear until today. Thank you sooo much **D4*.
But one thing is that even I can feel the stares and glares, my eyes kind of landed at this particular person. The stares given by this person feels like penetrating into my skin right to the bone. But it has a kind of filter - this charm or aura kind of soften it.
I continued doing what I have to do and found out that the person is a regular. Never had the guts to smile or even glance let alone talk to the person. The only thing that I am brave enough to do is stare the person from a far and glancing once in a while to the person's car.
The good thing was that I was looking forward to do what I aim for and just because of the person. I even told a friend of mine and she insisted that I talk to that person. Even a 'hi' is enough. But I don't have the guts to do so.
Eventually, the day arrived. On the 5th of October, as I was doing what I usually do, that person smiled AND we started talking! Even it was just a sentence, but at least that is something.
And with that particular incident, it made me grin from ear to ear until today. Thank you sooo much **D4*.
Labels: Crushes, Life, Miscellaneous, Random ramblings
Am i really never good enough for you?
12:06 PM
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12:06 PM
0 commented