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Monday, May 30, 2005

♥ Happy Monday people!!

It's been a week since I last updated my blog. Last week, I was having a conflict in myself and I didn't have any mood to update my blog. I was really depressed and needed some time alone to think and sort myself out. I didn't know what to do and how to calm myself. It's not that I was scolded or anything like that, but it has to do with trust, honesty and my feelings deep down. Anyway, I think I can put the matter aside now.

Last week, I received an sms. It goes like this...

ONE WORD ABOUT ME. Describe me in one word, just one! Send it to me. Then you send this message to 10 friends and see how many wonderful/strange things people think about you. Do, reply, it's fun!


I replied the sms to the sender describing her as persistent. Well she is. I sent this sms to a couple of friends that I have met. And the replies were really out of my expectation. And it did make my day after what I have been through. Here are the replies - only 5 friends replied.

Abg Badrul - Gorgeous!
Nan - Cutey
Kak Rose - Lovable
Cik Tun - Sweet
Shai - So calm

When I first received the reply from Abg Badrul, I was like... hah?? Gorgeous?? Was he really talking about me? Or was it a different person and he smsed me the wrong message? Ha..ha.. I don't even know until today. But I guess he didn't change the sms and it was meant for me.

I have never thought of myself beautiful, gorgeous, pretty or what so ever. I have always thought that people would look at the physical appearance in making friends with people. And I am really concious with my looks. Sometimes I would feel so ugly compared to others and I would just sit back quietly or make people 'see through me' as if I am invisible. Nowadays, after meeting with new friends through the net, I have gained a bit confidence. But I still hold back a little when it comes to first timers. The best experience was when I met with wonderful people from Khai's Fanclub. And I have been trying to wash away the inferiority in myself and it has changed me.

Well, try the sms thingy out and you'll never know what people might think of you and the wonderful things that you never knew people see in you. Have fun trying!!


p/s: The reunion that I attended last week was superb. But I don't think that I would review it for a while. The pics of the places have been uploaded here.

Am i really never good enough for you?
10:48 AM
0 commented

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

♥ Emmm.. don't know what to say...

Inikah yang kuterima
Setelah semua cinta kuberikannya
Inikah yang kau beri
Setelah semua rindu ku curah
Apakah hatimu
Yang perlu ku jaga dan ku belai manja
Sedangkan hati ini
Tak pernah engkau pedulikannya
Memang dulu
Hati kecilku ini
Ku tanam kasih
Ku siram rindu
Untuk dirimu saja sayang
Tapi kini
Semua telah berlalu
Kau musnahkannya
Kau lontar jauh
Sepilah hatiku ini
Oh sayang
Andainya deritaku ini
Buat kau bergembira
Biarlah diriku bersedih sayang
Asal kau bahagia
Andainya itu yang kau pinta
Terserahlah padamu
Hatiku usahlah kau ambil kisah
Tahulah ku pujuknya
Biarkanlah aku merana
Asalkan kau hidup bahagia
Tanda sayang kekal selamanya
Walau kasih tidak terjamah

Am i really never good enough for you?
5:06 PM
0 commented

Friday, May 20, 2005

♥ Cinta Luar Biasa

Cinta Luar Biasa - A movie about a reunion of friends from schooldays. Some might wonder why I chose to write about the movie that has been in the cinemas early this year right? Well, the thing is that I will be attending a reunion tomorrow and will be off to the northern region of Malaysia tonight.



I am actually a bit nervous to attend the reunion. It is a mega reunion where all batches from the school will attend and there will be quite a number of people that I don't know and it will be the first time meeting them. Like super-super seniors and juniors.

I am actually having the feeling of being like Syanie in the movie. I was talking to my friends here in the office that I am going to change my appearance for the next 3 days starting from tonight. I was thinking of straightening my hair (rebonding, and without my tudung as well) and maybe wear a knee-length skirt with a blouse and a hat and not to forget, stilettos. Oh.. remind me to shave my legs this evening ehh?? Ha..ha.. imagine Syanie in the movie, I will be more or less like that!

Nah.. that is just the image that I got while thinking about this reunion. I have an awkward feeling about this reunion and I am hoping that a certain person won't be coming to the reunion. Actually a part of me would like that person to come, but another part would like it if that person won't come. I am actually torn between two feelings. I know that the person's best friend will be there. And I also heard that that person might be there if he goes back to his hometown for the weekend.

It's not that I don't want to see him. But it will be a bit awkward after all these years and thinking about the silly things we did. I don't know how to explain this but I think it would be better if I don't go into the details. But one thing for sure, I would be extremely embarrassed if Larry (his other best friend) comes to the reunion. I did something that I regretted all these years. But at least, I have memories of my schooldays. Not many knew what I did. Only my best friend and I and Larry himself. It is not a big thing actually, but because I did it, I would say that I felt I extremely embarrased. Anyway, again I think that it is too personal for me to share it here.

Well, I guess I have about 24 hours before the reunion. And I am really hoping to see all my teachers and a few of my classmates that will be going together with me there tonight. It has been at least 6 years since I last went out with my friends. I don't know if they'd recognize me anymore since I have gained weight (arrgghhh... I hate admitting this) since I have last met them.

I hope that I would enjoy my weekend as well as the reunion. Enjoy your weekend everyone!

Am i really never good enough for you?
11:28 AM
0 commented

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

♥ Happy Belated Teacher's Day

I wanted to publish this entry on Teacher's Day. But I just couldn't find the time to search for this entry that I wrote earlier. Anyway, I think I can manage to rewrite this entry regarding Teacher's Day.

Yesterday, I manage to sms most of my friends in the education sector - teachers to be exact. Among them were friends from school and university. I even met with one of my friends during a vacation in Sabah and I didn't even knew that she was teaching in Sabah!

I remember my teachers from school days. Among them, my first grade teacher - Mrs. Frisco. A lovable lady. Really liked her so much. My second grade teacher - Mrs. Sanders. A bit strict teacher but she really loved me and I don't know why.

Standard 3 - My class teacher was En. Rosli Hashim. A strict but kind teacher. He taught BM and was a scout teacher as well. He was my class teacher until standard 5. Sometimes we would berselisih in our cars but he would not recognize me anymore.

Standard 6 - Puan Zaifatul Akmal. When she started to teach us, she was still single. And beautiful. Even the boys would flirt with her. I can remember the naughty one flirting with her any chance they get. And she would just giggle and scold them. I heard that she still teaches here but in a different school.

Form 1 until Form 3- I was enrolled in a semi-boarding school. Actually sekolah agama. That time I was wearing tudung labuh! I still have that tudung and my mum will use it to water the plants if she's wearing short sleeves. At least the tudung has its use. I had several teachers during the years. Among them that I can remember are Cikgu Rusli Darus - my BM teacher. He was a cool teacher but the guys didn't like him because he was the warden.

Cikgu Samiah Hayat - my english teacher in form 3. A motherly teacher. She was very soft in teaching us. I think that during a wedding kenduri that I attended, she did come but I didn't have the chance to say hi because I lost track where she was sitting.

Cikgu Salina Kassim - my science teacher. She is so friendly and most of the students like her a lot. I have met with her several of times here and she still remembers me.

Cikgu Fausiah Harun - my geography teacher. She did her masters in UKM and though she didn't recognize me at first, but she thought I did look familiar. And now she remembers. The student that hates geography. Ha..ha.. Well, that was then. But I did do quite well in geography in PMR.

Ustazah Khadijah - I can't recall her last name. But she is married to Ustaz Fadzil Hanafi, previously an ustaz in RTM and now is in politics in Kedah. She was my Arabic language teacher and my homeroom teacher as well. Hmmm.. the name has brought back memories of her. And one thing that I can say is that she is beautiful.

Cikgu Zam Omar - my mathematics teacher in form 3 and my english teacher in form 1 and 2. She was one of the favourite teacher in that school even if she was strict.

Cikgu Juriah - She taught me Kemahiran Hidup. She was so soft and when I spoke to her, I would feel like talking to a big sister.

Form 4 until Form 5 - I studied in the northern state. And this weekend, I will be going there to celebrate the 20th anniversary. Among the teachers that I can remember are:

Cikgu Norizan - my Bahasa Melayu teacher. She is sensitive and a couple of times we had to pujuk the teacher to teach us. What made her merajuk was the fact that we were always late to turn up for the subject and we would always be noisy during her class. At that time, we were naughty rascals.

Cikgu Sabariah - She taught us Modern Mathematics. I was one of the students that were lazy in doing exercises. I would just get borderline marks to pass the tests. But I did study hard for SPM and made her quite proud because she knew that I could do it but I choose not to.

Cikgu Zabariah - Additional Mathematics was not my favourite subject at that time. But she would patiently teach me and tutor me to make me like the subject and do exercises. She was really patient with me. And I did make myself to like the subject in time to pass with a credit in SPM. I really owe her one. I am really looking forward to see her again at the gathering this weekend.

Cikgu Salmah - She was so straight forward that we couldn't even joke around when she was around. But when she gave birth, we went to her house and she was a different person. She just wanted us to take it seriously when learning especially english. I was on of her favourite students. He..he.. How I wish...

Cikgu Abdul Rahim Abdul Wahab - Among my teachers, he was the cute one. He taught us Chemistry. I really like it when it came to chemistry. He also sent each and everyone of his students a letter before SPM with all the hopes and nasihat for us. I still have that letter at home. I have kept it throughout the years. I just regret the fact that I opt for business instead of going into engineering, but that was a couple of years back. Now, I would say that I never regret making that choice. It was just not meant to be.

Cikgu Nabila - She taught me physics. And made it clearer. She was like a sister to us. Very young and beautiful and with brains too!

Cikgu Kesumawati Abu Bakar - She was a cute teacher and never failed to smile at us. She taught me principle of accounts and I really loved that subject. I was torn between 2 decisions during the time when I had to make a choice between accountancy and engineering. But I chose the first. And then after matriculation, I decided to take business administration.

Cikgu Zakiuddin Zainal Abidin (Tok Wan) - My homeroom teacher. He taught english and I really loved him like a father. Even after finishing my form 5, he still contacted me. But now, we've lost contact. I hope that he is doing well. I heard that he has retired. And he makes the best origano chicken I have ever tasted.

I once had a crush on my business law lecturer - Mr. Junaidi Mansor. He was cute and I actually wanted to give up his paper towards the end of the semester. But he talked me in to completing the paper since it was near the end of the semester and I did. He even asked me how I did after the paper and I said I was confident. I really owe him one because he gave me a good grade which I think I wouldn't have gotten if I gave up and withdrew his paper that semester.

So, there it goes. The list of teachers that I once knew. I am really thankful to them in making me what I am today. Thank you for being there for me, for making me push nad strive hard. Without you guys, I wouldn't have become what I am now.

Am i really never good enough for you?
2:38 PM
1 commented

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

♥ From UKM to UnPad - Final part

11th May 2005

After last night's event, I really started to enjoy my trip here. Eventhough the program did not even reach my minimum expectation as told by some, but I started to enjoy this trip.

The next day I woke up fresh and headed down for breakfast and to UnPad. On the way there, one of the panitia sat next to me the whole ride to UnPad. M. Sulhanuzzaman was his name as was known as Sulhan. Ganteng bangat. he..he.. I asked him about words that I didn't understand that I found. I think I can be a on the run dictionary for quite a few words. ha..ha..

Among words that I asked him the meaning were pariwisata (tourism), teteh (kakak), goyang ngebor (goyang gerudi which Inul was famous of - the dangdut singer who was recetly in Malaysia) cicilan (ansuran), babat (a dish made from a part in a cow), kimia farma apotek (something like Pusat Kesihatan in Malaysia).

In the evening at 5.45 pm WIB, we went to Jalan Riau and stopped at a place like Chinatown in a building. Nothing much to buy and the goods were quite expensive. I had dinner in Riung Sari and ate sup bontot sapi. Don't get me wrong but sup bontot sapi is actually sup ekor. I laughed out loud when I ordered the dish. Even a few of the paticipants who joined us for dinner laughed at the menu and ordered the dish as well.

We were then brought back to our hotel to freshen up for the Malam Keakraban. At 9.30 pm WIB, I went to the ballroom. Actually I was half an hour late because at first I didn't feel like going. But then I said to myself, just go and if you don't like it, you can always go back to your room right? They served Indonesian kuih and drinks - some kind of ginger tea and another drink like cendol but has a light taste of ginger without the cendol. It was not for me. I didn't like the taste at all! It was too sweet.

grand pranger
The hotel - Hotel Grand Preanger

We were entertained by two singers and a group of musicians who played asli songs. And they invited an alumni from UnPad who I think is a singer now in Indonesia. Her name is Marini. And she is so beautiful even the gentlemen in the ballroom just could not get enough of her. Well, something like that. She sang a quite a number of songs and her vocals were superb. She invited those who were a bit shy and quiet type to dance with her and another gentleman, she sang to him beside him and dedicated the song to him. He was blushing and that gentleman was quite handsome too! Actually the gentleman dikenakan oleh his members. Anyway, that was fun seeing a gentleman in his 40s blushing. :-)

After that, the participants danced and sang. I just stayed at my table watching people around me enjoying themselves. They were even taught the dangdut dance by the dosen (lecturers) of UnPad. It was fun seeing all these academicians dance and sing. It is not everyday that you see them doing things like this. That night, the session ended at 2 am.


12th May 2005

I woke up a bit late today due to last night's event. I woke up around 5.45 am (WIB equivalent to 6.45 am Malaysian time). Had breakfast and headed to UnPad. Not many participants went to UnPad that morning. Most of them bolos (ponteng) the session. I arrived and stayed there until 12.00pm. I then packed up the things and left the things on the bus to be brought back to the hotel.

I decided to follow 2 lecturers to town that afternoon before the closing ceremony. We went to MnM - a shop in a van used to travel by the people there. It its called angkutan kota. What an experience. Imagine getting in in one of those and the driver will ask you to hurry up and to climb in the van is quite difficult to hurry if you are tall! Trust me, I was not the only one complaining. But it was indeed an experience. We went back to the campus just in time for the closing ceremony.

After the closing ceremony, we were supposed to go to Pondok Pesantren Daruut Tauhid to meet with Abdullah Gymnastiar or better known as AA GYM - a famous ulama' in Indonesia. But I asked the secretariat if I could be excused. The secretariat said that it was okay so we (the 2 lecturers that I followed to MnM) decided to go to Pasar Baru. We took a cab this time and headed to the Pasar Baru. I bought 2 telekung sembahyang for me and my mum. We did not spend much time there since it was near closing time. The Pasar Baru closes at 6.00 pm WIB. So, we headed back to the hotel and decided to have dinner there. There were no programs for us that night so I spent the night packing because our flight was at 9.30 am WIB the next morning.


13th May 2005

I woke up early and got ready to check out. I brought my luggage along for breakfast and got on the bus at 7.15 am WIB. I still had time to buy souvenirs from the people in front of our hotel. I just remembered that I did not get anything for the male collegues and my dad and brother. So, I just bought my dad and brother a t-shirt each and pen (the one with Bandung on it) for the male collegues.

We arrived at the airport and checked-in. In the departure hall, I spotted Nurul Izzah Anwar - the daughter of Anwar Ibrahim. We exchanged smiles from far. And at 9.35 am WIB, we were on the flight back to KL.


_____________________________________________________________________________________


It was indeed a new experience and I really did enjoy my stay there without even thinking about my work! It was kind of a break for me for that week after having so many things done in the first quarter of this year. I really hope that I will get the chance to go to other places.

* Just found out that some of the people that were in Bandung got diarrhoea and were hospitalized. And one of the lecturers who presented a paper in the symposium passed away yesterday after arriving from Bandung. Al-fatihah.

Am i really never good enough for you?
4:59 PM
0 commented

Monday, May 16, 2005

♥ From UKM to UnPad - Part II

10th May 2005


I woke up at 5.45am Malaysian time (4.45am West Indonesian time - WIB). I slept like a log last night. It was still early since we had to be ready at 7.30 am WIB. So I decided to watch tv after I got ready. I went to the coffee house to have breakfast at 6.30 am WIB.

After having breakfast, we headed to UnPad. The streets were cleared by the police traffic for us. We were honoured to get that kind of service. Drivers in Bandung drives really close and they brake last minute, stopping just an inch from the car in front of them. It is scary. But the good thing is that they will give way to others easily even in the macet (traffic jam).

Arrived at UnPad, the participants of the symposium went to the registration counter while I went to the secretariat's office to set up my things. The place was like a wedding tent. The canopy was really beautiful and it looked like a grand wedding was being set up there. People would say that it was the khemah pengantin untuk makan beradab.

Nothing much happened but I got to know that the building for the break-up sessions for the symposium was a new building and we were the first to use it. No wonder the marble floors were slippery. Quite a number or participants slipped and fell. The food was okay. Buffet style and there were 3-4 different dishes.

I spent the whole day there. There were several participants who went shopping and skipping the sessions. We then headed back to the hotel at 5.45pm WIB and were asked to be ready at the bus by 6.30pm WIB for dinner with the Governor of West Java. Oh by the way, the solat time in WIB is a bit earlier. I did have the schedule with me, but I misplaced it in my purse.

The governor's dinner was held at his office - Gedong Sate. The name was taken from the roof top where there is a replica of sate. We were served with dishes from Indonesia and several dishes to choose from. We were also entertained with traditional dances - Tarian Merak, Tarian Joglo (if I am not mistaken) and a performance by kids for the berkhatan ritual. The tarian merak was spectacular especially the clothes that they used. And everyone enjoyed the kids performance. Imagine kids from 3 yrs old dancing on the stage. They were so cute.

gedungsate
Gedung Sate-At the roof top, you can see the sate with the lidi pointing at the sky.

We were then introduced to angklung - an instrument made from bamboo that can produce music notes. I have had the experience in playing the angklung in my university years and was the first group to perform in front of the Sultan Kedah. So, when the kids (the same ones who performed earlier) came on stage and played the angklung, I really wanted to play the angklung too! As if the host knew what I felt, and I guess everybody else did feel the urge to try to play the instrument, we were offered each and everyone an angklung. The instructor taught us the sign language of the notes and how to play the angklung properly. I was so happy to get the chance to play the angklung again. We recited Happy Birthday, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, I Have a Dream, Alabama and Burung Kakak Tua. We were so happy that everyone kept on sharing their experiences and their point of views on the way back to the hotel.

We then retired for the night and went to sleep. 2 days have passed by, 3 more days to go....

Am i really never good enough for you?
3:06 PM
0 commented

♥ From UKM to UnPad - Part I

Throughout the whole week last week, I was in Indonesia - Bandung to be exact. That was the first time for me to be in Indonesia. When I knew that I was going to Bandung, I was a bit excited. But when it came to the day that I had to get ready, I was a bit hesitant to go.

My flight was on the 9th of May 2005. I packed and got my things ready until 12.30 am. I had to be ready for my cab at 4.30 am. I woke up that morning at 3.45 am to get ready. And at 4.30 am that morning, my cab arrived. I was joining a group of the participants to Bandung and was asked to be there at 5.30 am to check-in. I arrived at KLIA at 5.05 am. And because it was still early, I just sat at the departure level alone. Some familiar faces went thru and fro finding the counter to check-in and I heard them saying that we had to check-in at counter L17. So, I headed there and saw a few people there with luggage in a row in front of the secretariat. I put my luggage with the other luggages and was asked to submit my passport to one of the delegates there.

I met with a participant from UMS and had breakfast with her. We all checked in at 6.15 am and headed to the departure hall. Boarded the flight and it took 2 hours and 15 minutes to arrive in Bandung. From the flight, I looked down while we were about to land. The view from above was spectacular. Bandung is situated in the hills and I could see that the place was surrounded by hills.

We arrived at Bandara Husein Sastranegara Military Airport Bandung and was greeted by the Panitia - secretariat for the Universitas Padjadjaran (UnPad) side. We were then asked to wait at the arrival hall and once again our passports were collected for Immigration purposes. We were given into 3 groups. I was in group 2 and that means that throughout the whole program, I will be riding in Bis II (Bas II). We were treated like VIPs. Our luggage will be sent to the hotel and the Immigration purposes were handled by the panitia.

We were then brought to tour around the town and stopped at the Asian-African Delegate Museum. The last conference was held on the 24th of April 2005. After the tour around the Museum, we were brought to Cihamplas Walk (Ci-Walk). This place is like Mid Valley but a small Mid Valley and between buildings, there are open spaces. I bought Peter Pan's CDs here. The price is cheaper than Malaysia. One CD costs about RM 15 only (Rp 35,000)! I also had lunch at the food court. They use a system like the prepaid card for paying the meals. And the balance will be paid back once you return the card to the casher. We stopped at Ci-Walk for 2 hours. Just spent the first hour eating and window shopping. The other hour was spent sitting by the side walk waiting for the 2 hours to pass by. While sitting there, I saw a few Indonesians selling things by the main road. They will bring the things in a bag and try to sell the things (mostly souvenirs) to tourists. If they know people around them are from Malaysia, some of them might put higher prices. I did buy souvenirs for my friends in the office. And I think that it was a good bargain. One thing that I regret is that I didn't take any pics here because I didn't have any film in my camera.

We then headed to the hotel. From the airport, we had an escort (rider) in front of the bus to avoid macet (traffic jam in Bandung). we arrived at the hotel and were greeted by their staffs and were given refreshments. I noticed that our luggage had arrived and then we checked in the hotel. Before going up to my room, I was told to be back downstairs to got to Universitas Padjajaran to set up my things. I searched for the elevator, but there was none in sight. We asked the bell boy and were told that the lifts were only on the second floor! The bell boy asked us to leave out luggage and they will send it to us.

I went up to my room at the 6th floor. I refreshened up a bit and rest for half an hour to get ready to go to UnPad. I went back downstairs and headed to UnPad with the van that the secretariat and panitia booked for us.

unpadsign
The sign of UnPad from the main gate.


unpad1
The first building in sight.

unpadcermin
The first building in sight from a different view.


The campus is kind of scattered around the main road. There is also a campus in Jatinagor. The main building has the Dutch touch. We then booked our place and looked around the campus and the place that our belongings will be stored at. We went back to the hotel and only had 30 minutes to get ready + solat before heading to Walikota Bandung's house. Walikota is like a Datuk Bandar in Malaysia. We (the participants for the Symposium) were invited to dinner by the Walikota Bandung and it was an honour to be invited there. There were performances by the people of Bandung. The first dance was a traditional dance and was quite fast. We were then entertained by a singer who set a record for singing and playing the piano for 24 hours non stop for charity for the Tsunami's victims. The food was set up in a buffet style in stalls. I didn't have much because I don't like weird things and furthermore, I was tired from the day's event. The VIPs then took turns singing and the event ended at around 10.30 pm Malaysian time (9.30 pm Indonesian time).

After arriving at the hotel, I went straight to bed. I was extremely tired and exhausted after the whole day going around the town and setting up the things in UnPad and dinner.

Will be continued....


*Pic taken from : http://antigravity.blogdrive.com . My pictures are still in the negative form and I have not developed them. When I have developed them, I will upload the pics here.

Am i really never good enough for you?
2:17 PM
0 commented

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

♥ Datin Norjuma

I have just recovered from the flu. I was down with the flu since last Tuesday and had to go to PD for a course and due to lack of rest, it got worst. Anyway, I am back on my feet again. But I feel like I am having Monday blues on a Tuesday morning.

Last Sunday, Nona aired the wedding of the year between Dato' Nazim Tun Abdul Razak and Datin Norjuma. Wow, what a beautiful wedding. They were really a happy couple. I like the combination. A very independant lady with confidence and quite talkative with a serious husband and a quiet type. But both of them really make a great couple.

23juma25juma

How I envy Norjuma. Not only that she is blessed with good looks, but also a pleasant personality. As Datin Rosmah joked about Dato' Nazim about settling down, she said that Dato' Nazim is searching for a Ustazah with the looks of Miss Universe. And I guess that he found his true love with the criteria mentioned.

24juma

Norjuma's dresses were splendid. Very beautiful and looked like it was made in heaven. The dresses were tailored by Radzwan Radziwill. I guess I have an additional name to tailor my wedding dress. He..he..

Congratulations to Dato' Nazim and Datin Norjuma. Semoga kekal bahagia hingga ke akhir hayat dan dikurniakan anak-anak yang soleh dan solehah. Amin.

*Pics taken from Berita Harian and http://yangazam.blogdrive.com

Am i really never good enough for you?
1:33 PM
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