Tuesday, June 06, 2006
♥ I Have Sinned
Dear my beloved and loyal readers (as if I have),
I have a confession to make and I need some opinion from you guys to help me sort things out. Even though I have to make my own decision, but I really want to know your opinion on this matter.
Lately, my mood has been down the drain. I feel like I have no mood and do not feel at all motivated to do my work. I don't know what caused it but I guess from an incident that happened quite sometime ago.
Last Saturday, I have committed a sin. I planned to go to the office to settle my unfinished tasks that has been mounting on my desk. But at the same time, I felt that I needed rest. That morning at 8.00 am, I received a call from a colleague stating that she needed the keys for the meeting room. I am in charge for all the keys in the office and my room is locked. Therefor, I had to go to the office.
I kind of dragged myself and said to myself that I might as well settle the unfinished business that I had in mind but reluctantly wanted to do on a weekend. So, as I arrived, I saw that the meeting room was already opened.
I kind of sat down and changed my mind again. I think that I wanted to go back home and enjoy the weekend. But a colleague from another department called and wanted to pass something to the committee that was having the meeting. I waited for her and talked to the other colleagues that were doing overtime about the monthly assembly next Monday. The last assembly that was held, I had to prepare the powerpoint and it was given by my immediate boss. So, I asked the colleague if this time there was a presentation involved. She said that my boss looked for me (after office hours and I was already heading back since I was really exhausted - Thank God!) to prepare the presentation. In my head, I said, ooppss.. another task waiting and urgently needed. The thing is that I hate last minute tasks that could have been planned earlier. That is one thing that I pantang!
So, as I met the colleague that wanted to pass me the thing for the meeting, I spotted my boss. Yikes.. boss is here. I better save myself! I handed the document to another colleague and wanted to go back but the realized that my handbag, car keys and handphone were in my room! Going to my room meant that I had to cross my boss' room! At that time, I already heard that she was looking for me!
I made up my mind that I had to escape. I hid under a desk at the office and heard her searching for me and she even wondered where I was since my car is parked at the porch! I hid under the desk and even fell asleep under the desk! I came out at lunch time (about 2 hours after the incident) and I made up my mind to collect my things and head back. As I was walking towards my room, I bumped into my boss and she had a serious look on her face. She was also heading home. I guess she left the presentation to someone else.
The following Monday, she was still serious. I heard that one of my colleagues told her that I hid under the desk on Saturday and she kind of wondered why I did that. That was one version of the story. There are 2-3 versions of the story but to make it short, she's pissed off about me hiding on Saturday.
Let me clear this out. I never had the intention to hide in the first place. But I am guilty as charged to hide on that day. I had other plans to do - organize and finish my OVERDUE work. And I just can not bear another task on my desk since I know that it was last minute. I hate people who don't plan ahead their work. I have a target to meet here and if that task gets in my way, I'd never meet the target I set.
Secondly, I do not claim any overtime nor unrecorded leaves. So, I do not understand why she is so pissed off with me as claimed?
Thirdly, of all these while, I have never said no to any last minute tasks she drops on my desk at the last minute even if I have to stay back at the office alone until 9pm and get a lecture from my parents about not being able to plan and organize my work. Does she know that? NO. And does she care? I don't think so.
And now, I see that colleagues that are quite close to me also gets this I-want-to-eat-you-up stare and get scolded on small matters. I really pity them and I even say that do not have any contact with me what-so-ever when she is in sight.
So, I need to know what should I do now. A colleague told me to apologize but what should I say? Sorry that I hid from you on Saturday? Or maybe just ignore the fact that she's pissed off and act normal? Please, I beg for your opinion.
I have a confession to make and I need some opinion from you guys to help me sort things out. Even though I have to make my own decision, but I really want to know your opinion on this matter.
Lately, my mood has been down the drain. I feel like I have no mood and do not feel at all motivated to do my work. I don't know what caused it but I guess from an incident that happened quite sometime ago.
Last Saturday, I have committed a sin. I planned to go to the office to settle my unfinished tasks that has been mounting on my desk. But at the same time, I felt that I needed rest. That morning at 8.00 am, I received a call from a colleague stating that she needed the keys for the meeting room. I am in charge for all the keys in the office and my room is locked. Therefor, I had to go to the office.
I kind of dragged myself and said to myself that I might as well settle the unfinished business that I had in mind but reluctantly wanted to do on a weekend. So, as I arrived, I saw that the meeting room was already opened.
I kind of sat down and changed my mind again. I think that I wanted to go back home and enjoy the weekend. But a colleague from another department called and wanted to pass something to the committee that was having the meeting. I waited for her and talked to the other colleagues that were doing overtime about the monthly assembly next Monday. The last assembly that was held, I had to prepare the powerpoint and it was given by my immediate boss. So, I asked the colleague if this time there was a presentation involved. She said that my boss looked for me (after office hours and I was already heading back since I was really exhausted - Thank God!) to prepare the presentation. In my head, I said, ooppss.. another task waiting and urgently needed. The thing is that I hate last minute tasks that could have been planned earlier. That is one thing that I pantang!
So, as I met the colleague that wanted to pass me the thing for the meeting, I spotted my boss. Yikes.. boss is here. I better save myself! I handed the document to another colleague and wanted to go back but the realized that my handbag, car keys and handphone were in my room! Going to my room meant that I had to cross my boss' room! At that time, I already heard that she was looking for me!
I made up my mind that I had to escape. I hid under a desk at the office and heard her searching for me and she even wondered where I was since my car is parked at the porch! I hid under the desk and even fell asleep under the desk! I came out at lunch time (about 2 hours after the incident) and I made up my mind to collect my things and head back. As I was walking towards my room, I bumped into my boss and she had a serious look on her face. She was also heading home. I guess she left the presentation to someone else.
The following Monday, she was still serious. I heard that one of my colleagues told her that I hid under the desk on Saturday and she kind of wondered why I did that. That was one version of the story. There are 2-3 versions of the story but to make it short, she's pissed off about me hiding on Saturday.
Let me clear this out. I never had the intention to hide in the first place. But I am guilty as charged to hide on that day. I had other plans to do - organize and finish my OVERDUE work. And I just can not bear another task on my desk since I know that it was last minute. I hate people who don't plan ahead their work. I have a target to meet here and if that task gets in my way, I'd never meet the target I set.
Secondly, I do not claim any overtime nor unrecorded leaves. So, I do not understand why she is so pissed off with me as claimed?
Thirdly, of all these while, I have never said no to any last minute tasks she drops on my desk at the last minute even if I have to stay back at the office alone until 9pm and get a lecture from my parents about not being able to plan and organize my work. Does she know that? NO. And does she care? I don't think so.
And now, I see that colleagues that are quite close to me also gets this I-want-to-eat-you-up stare and get scolded on small matters. I really pity them and I even say that do not have any contact with me what-so-ever when she is in sight.
So, I need to know what should I do now. A colleague told me to apologize but what should I say? Sorry that I hid from you on Saturday? Or maybe just ignore the fact that she's pissed off and act normal? Please, I beg for your opinion.
Am i really never good enough for you?
6:01 PM
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6:01 PM
0 commented