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Friday, January 27, 2006

♥ Sacrifice... is it worth making?

Pardon my laziness to update my blog. Yes, I am lazy and not feeling well at this time. I am down with a cold and a fever. Been trying to sneeze because that what makes me feel better and you will feel relieved after sneezing.

I am so into Korean dramas these days. Before this, I am only interested in English movies or Japanese dramas. But since the first drama that I could not miss an episode (The Successful Story of a Bright Young Girl), I have been into Korean dramas. But not all. Just the 'light ones'- meaning the funny and witty kind of storyline.

There is this new series (not that new and has ended due to my procrastination in writing this entry) aired on NTV7 at 9.30pm in the Hong slot - My 19 Year Old Sister in law. It's a bit funny and enjoyable but the storyline is quite serious.

Two brothers - Jiang Min Zhe (a doctor) and Jiang Sheng Zhe (a math genius) are two different people with opposite personalities. Dr. Jiang is more of the serious and loyal type but Sheng Zhe is more like a naughty and cheeky type of guy.

They were brought up together eventhough they are not real brothers. Dr. Jiang was adopted by Mrs. Lin after she left a little girl at a train station for money.

The story is quite complex (I can say that on my behalf because I didn't start watching from the start and missed a few episodes here and there. That explains my comment here a bit complex) to explain but in the end, they (Dr. Jiang and Sheng Zhe) fell for the same girl. The tough part is that Yu Min (the lucky girl) admires Dr. Jiang more and is 'enemies' with Sheng Zhe. They would just quarrel if they meet but even so, Sheng Zhe noticed that he had fallen in love with this girl.

One thing is that when Sheng Zhe knows that Yu Min likes Dr. Jiang, he would sacrifice his feelings and try to keep them to himself (even if his heart breaks).

I'd leave the rest of the story for you guys to find out. Anyway, Sheng Zhe's feelings and character in this drama really reminded me of someone I really know and understand. This story really did touch me deeply because I know what that person felt like. And in some ways, it opened a door in my heart that I always keep shut tightly.

When you love someone deeply, sometimes you would just sacrifice too much and hurt yourself just to see the smile and the twinkle of that person's eyes as they beam with joy. But deep down inside, you are hurting yourself bit by bit and the wound just becomes deeper.

Why does this happen? How can we let ourselves get hurt this way? Is the sacrifice worth making? Just because the other person is happy, are we doing the right thing?

For some matters, it is worth sacrificing our feelings if it is for our own good and for the sake of the relationship. But if by making sacrifices the other party sees that they can take advantage of us, then you'd better stop making sacrifices that can hurt yourself. If you are truly loved by that person, they would not take advantage but they'd be grateful at the sacrifice you made.

Relationships have to have 'give and take'. If we only give and the other only takes, then there must be something wrong. You are willing to give but the other person is only willing to take and not give. It seems that you are just the only one that is serious in the relationship. The other person might just be fooling around and taking advantage as long as they can.

One day, you will wake up feeling hurt and used after all the sacrifice you made. That time, regrets will only be something that you wished you had felt earlier. Some people may be left with a wound that would take a long time to heal. And some would just shove the feeling deep down inside and pretended that nothing happened. But later it will cause more damage because in time, you'd build a wall of stone in your heart to prevent yourself to fall in love again.

Well, just remember that sometimes being hurt on the way to find true love creates great memories to be reminisced once in a while and who knows, one day you'd be laughing at those memories.

Am i really never good enough for you?
10:53 AM
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