Friday, January 27, 2006
♥ Sacrifice... is it worth making?
Pardon my laziness to update my blog. Yes, I am lazy and not feeling well at this time. I am down with a cold and a fever. Been trying to sneeze because that what makes me feel better and you will feel relieved after sneezing.
I am so into Korean dramas these days. Before this, I am only interested in English movies or Japanese dramas. But since the first drama that I could not miss an episode (The Successful Story of a Bright Young Girl), I have been into Korean dramas. But not all. Just the 'light ones'- meaning the funny and witty kind of storyline.
There is this new series (not that new and has ended due to my procrastination in writing this entry) aired on NTV7 at 9.30pm in the Hong slot - My 19 Year Old Sister in law. It's a bit funny and enjoyable but the storyline is quite serious.
Two brothers - Jiang Min Zhe (a doctor) and Jiang Sheng Zhe (a math genius) are two different people with opposite personalities. Dr. Jiang is more of the serious and loyal type but Sheng Zhe is more like a naughty and cheeky type of guy.
They were brought up together eventhough they are not real brothers. Dr. Jiang was adopted by Mrs. Lin after she left a little girl at a train station for money.
The story is quite complex (I can say that on my behalf because I didn't start watching from the start and missed a few episodes here and there. That explains my comment here a bit complex) to explain but in the end, they (Dr. Jiang and Sheng Zhe) fell for the same girl. The tough part is that Yu Min (the lucky girl) admires Dr. Jiang more and is 'enemies' with Sheng Zhe. They would just quarrel if they meet but even so, Sheng Zhe noticed that he had fallen in love with this girl.
One thing is that when Sheng Zhe knows that Yu Min likes Dr. Jiang, he would sacrifice his feelings and try to keep them to himself (even if his heart breaks).
I'd leave the rest of the story for you guys to find out. Anyway, Sheng Zhe's feelings and character in this drama really reminded me of someone I really know and understand. This story really did touch me deeply because I know what that person felt like. And in some ways, it opened a door in my heart that I always keep shut tightly.
When you love someone deeply, sometimes you would just sacrifice too much and hurt yourself just to see the smile and the twinkle of that person's eyes as they beam with joy. But deep down inside, you are hurting yourself bit by bit and the wound just becomes deeper.
Why does this happen? How can we let ourselves get hurt this way? Is the sacrifice worth making? Just because the other person is happy, are we doing the right thing?
For some matters, it is worth sacrificing our feelings if it is for our own good and for the sake of the relationship. But if by making sacrifices the other party sees that they can take advantage of us, then you'd better stop making sacrifices that can hurt yourself. If you are truly loved by that person, they would not take advantage but they'd be grateful at the sacrifice you made.
Relationships have to have 'give and take'. If we only give and the other only takes, then there must be something wrong. You are willing to give but the other person is only willing to take and not give. It seems that you are just the only one that is serious in the relationship. The other person might just be fooling around and taking advantage as long as they can.
One day, you will wake up feeling hurt and used after all the sacrifice you made. That time, regrets will only be something that you wished you had felt earlier. Some people may be left with a wound that would take a long time to heal. And some would just shove the feeling deep down inside and pretended that nothing happened. But later it will cause more damage because in time, you'd build a wall of stone in your heart to prevent yourself to fall in love again.
Well, just remember that sometimes being hurt on the way to find true love creates great memories to be reminisced once in a while and who knows, one day you'd be laughing at those memories.
I am so into Korean dramas these days. Before this, I am only interested in English movies or Japanese dramas. But since the first drama that I could not miss an episode (The Successful Story of a Bright Young Girl), I have been into Korean dramas. But not all. Just the 'light ones'- meaning the funny and witty kind of storyline.
There is this new series (not that new and has ended due to my procrastination in writing this entry) aired on NTV7 at 9.30pm in the Hong slot - My 19 Year Old Sister in law. It's a bit funny and enjoyable but the storyline is quite serious.
Two brothers - Jiang Min Zhe (a doctor) and Jiang Sheng Zhe (a math genius) are two different people with opposite personalities. Dr. Jiang is more of the serious and loyal type but Sheng Zhe is more like a naughty and cheeky type of guy.
They were brought up together eventhough they are not real brothers. Dr. Jiang was adopted by Mrs. Lin after she left a little girl at a train station for money.
The story is quite complex (I can say that on my behalf because I didn't start watching from the start and missed a few episodes here and there. That explains my comment here a bit complex) to explain but in the end, they (Dr. Jiang and Sheng Zhe) fell for the same girl. The tough part is that Yu Min (the lucky girl) admires Dr. Jiang more and is 'enemies' with Sheng Zhe. They would just quarrel if they meet but even so, Sheng Zhe noticed that he had fallen in love with this girl.
One thing is that when Sheng Zhe knows that Yu Min likes Dr. Jiang, he would sacrifice his feelings and try to keep them to himself (even if his heart breaks).
I'd leave the rest of the story for you guys to find out. Anyway, Sheng Zhe's feelings and character in this drama really reminded me of someone I really know and understand. This story really did touch me deeply because I know what that person felt like. And in some ways, it opened a door in my heart that I always keep shut tightly.
When you love someone deeply, sometimes you would just sacrifice too much and hurt yourself just to see the smile and the twinkle of that person's eyes as they beam with joy. But deep down inside, you are hurting yourself bit by bit and the wound just becomes deeper.
Why does this happen? How can we let ourselves get hurt this way? Is the sacrifice worth making? Just because the other person is happy, are we doing the right thing?
For some matters, it is worth sacrificing our feelings if it is for our own good and for the sake of the relationship. But if by making sacrifices the other party sees that they can take advantage of us, then you'd better stop making sacrifices that can hurt yourself. If you are truly loved by that person, they would not take advantage but they'd be grateful at the sacrifice you made.
Relationships have to have 'give and take'. If we only give and the other only takes, then there must be something wrong. You are willing to give but the other person is only willing to take and not give. It seems that you are just the only one that is serious in the relationship. The other person might just be fooling around and taking advantage as long as they can.
One day, you will wake up feeling hurt and used after all the sacrifice you made. That time, regrets will only be something that you wished you had felt earlier. Some people may be left with a wound that would take a long time to heal. And some would just shove the feeling deep down inside and pretended that nothing happened. But later it will cause more damage because in time, you'd build a wall of stone in your heart to prevent yourself to fall in love again.
Well, just remember that sometimes being hurt on the way to find true love creates great memories to be reminisced once in a while and who knows, one day you'd be laughing at those memories.
Am i really never good enough for you?
10:53 AM
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10:53 AM
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Tuesday, January 10, 2006
♥ Once upon a time cooking rendang
Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha. Yesterday, I was on leave for the preparation of Aidiladha. Usually my mom would nag about me always working and never having time to rest or help out. But this year, I did manage to plan my leave for Aidiladha. The thing is that, this year too, my mom worked yesterday. Well, I was left in charge of the cooking for celebrating Aidiladha.
My mom would set up the menu and I would make sure that the ingredients are enough. My mom said that we would be having rendang daging as usual with ketupat palas (which my mom ordered from her friend) and maybe pulut kuning. So, I was in charge of cooking the rendang.
Every Saturday, there would be a night market nearby my house. I went there to get the ingredients as written in the recipe I jotted the recipe the last time my mom made rendang. I know the ingredients but exact measurement so that it will be the same as we cooked it before more or less having a standard procedure in making the rendang. As I went ‘shopping’ for the ingredients I made a checklist in my mind of the things I have bought and the things that needs to be bought tomorrow.
So, that night, I sorted out the things I have bought and kept in the places where I usually keep them. So, yesterday morning, I just got my brother to buy coconut milk and grated coconut from the wet market along with a whole chicken for lunch and potatoes.
After my brother came back from the market, I fried the grated coconut to make kerisik. And I prepared all the ingredients on the kitchen table as I was referring to the recipe.
20 biji bawang merah … check
4 ulas bawang putih … check
3 batang serai… check
2 inci halia… check
2 inci lengkuas… check
4 sudu besar kerisik … check
9 sudu cili … check
2 biji santan kelapa … check
2 helai daun limau purut… check
1 ¾ sudu kecil garam… check
1 kg daging…
Oh my God! I forgot the main ingredient. Meat! Where am I going to find meat and I have never bought meat before! Usually my dad will buy the meat. But since this year he is in Mekah, we forgot about the meat.
I headed to the supermarket to get boxed meat from India since that is the only choice that I have. Arriving in Warta, I headed to the frozen section and the usual boxed meat that I buy is empty. Okay, don’t panic. We’ll have to find another option.
I then headed to Billion and thank God that the freezer is still full of the boxed meat. So, I paid for the meat and headed home. One thing for sure is that I’d have to wait like two more hours for the meat to be thawed and cut up.
Anyway, I managed to cook the rendang before my mom came back from the office. And I am glad that she didn’t know about the problem I encountered and my fault for forgetting the meat!
Anyway, Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha everyone! Don’t eat too much red meat these few days.
My mom would set up the menu and I would make sure that the ingredients are enough. My mom said that we would be having rendang daging as usual with ketupat palas (which my mom ordered from her friend) and maybe pulut kuning. So, I was in charge of cooking the rendang.
Every Saturday, there would be a night market nearby my house. I went there to get the ingredients as written in the recipe I jotted the recipe the last time my mom made rendang. I know the ingredients but exact measurement so that it will be the same as we cooked it before more or less having a standard procedure in making the rendang. As I went ‘shopping’ for the ingredients I made a checklist in my mind of the things I have bought and the things that needs to be bought tomorrow.
So, that night, I sorted out the things I have bought and kept in the places where I usually keep them. So, yesterday morning, I just got my brother to buy coconut milk and grated coconut from the wet market along with a whole chicken for lunch and potatoes.
After my brother came back from the market, I fried the grated coconut to make kerisik. And I prepared all the ingredients on the kitchen table as I was referring to the recipe.
20 biji bawang merah … check
4 ulas bawang putih … check
3 batang serai… check
2 inci halia… check
2 inci lengkuas… check
4 sudu besar kerisik … check
9 sudu cili … check
2 biji santan kelapa … check
2 helai daun limau purut… check
1 ¾ sudu kecil garam… check
1 kg daging…
Oh my God! I forgot the main ingredient. Meat! Where am I going to find meat and I have never bought meat before! Usually my dad will buy the meat. But since this year he is in Mekah, we forgot about the meat.
I headed to the supermarket to get boxed meat from India since that is the only choice that I have. Arriving in Warta, I headed to the frozen section and the usual boxed meat that I buy is empty. Okay, don’t panic. We’ll have to find another option.
I then headed to Billion and thank God that the freezer is still full of the boxed meat. So, I paid for the meat and headed home. One thing for sure is that I’d have to wait like two more hours for the meat to be thawed and cut up.
Anyway, I managed to cook the rendang before my mom came back from the office. And I am glad that she didn’t know about the problem I encountered and my fault for forgetting the meat!
Anyway, Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha everyone! Don’t eat too much red meat these few days.
Am i really never good enough for you?
3:46 PM
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3:46 PM
0 commented
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
♥ A New Year, A New Beginning... Again
Firstly, happy new year everyone! I may be 4 days late, but I just could not find the time to write nor the mood to write in the last days of 2005. Actually I have a lot to tell, but when I have the time to write, I'd forget all about it and it won't be the same without the enthusiasm.
Anyway, I miss writing. I have this note book for me to jot down anything I'd like to write. But it always happen to be at the wrong place at the right time. I have to do something about this and I'll keep it in my bag where ever I go.
I spent the last couple of weeks buried in tonnes of work. But I managed to sneak out to go shopping on Christmas eve(I usually do this every year just for the sake of discounts on bargains - I know that it sounds pathetic, but I need to save up and I see that this is the best way). I went shopping at KLCC. And guess what, being a shopaholic, I got myself a 100ml perfume from CD (won't mention which one), 4 pairs of new heels (which I don't even know when I'd be wearing them) and some personal stuff. Looking and my spending in one day, I'd say that to save up is quite impossible.
Well, I felt great that day. But today, I feel like I just can't wait for this month's pay day. The following week (30th Dec), I finished up my unrecorded leave and went to KLCC again. But this time, I was just there to catch a movie and have lunch. I rushed back and went straight to Alamanda to meet my cute 'boyfriend' who flew in from Bandung for a concert on New Year's day. I kind of felt out of place seeing all the teenagers and suddenly felt like I was in Bandung myself with people here and there speaking their language with the slang. I just found a corner and sat there with my friends. And then something unexpected happened. Peterpan was brought to the stage and they passed us! I saw Ariel (the vocalist of Peterpan and whom I really adore) within 2 feet away from me! As other fans would be screaming their lungs out, I just stared and froze. HE WAS SO CUTE! And I just stood there in awe.
Peterpan was in Alamanda in conjuction with their concert and they were for the meet the fans session for half an hour. Ariel just sang one verse of Tak Bisakah. But that was enough for me. Because till this day, when I remember that day, I'd be putting on this silly grin on my face.
The last day of 2005 I once again went to Alamanda. This time to buy an entertainment rack at Carrefour and went to Secret Recipe to get a cake for my mom's surprise birthday party at my uncle's house. My mom got a pair of baju kurung from my uncle and another birthday cake (which was also from SR) and a card. My mom said that my youngest brother and I didn't even bother to wish her happy birthday, let alone give her a present. We just kept quite and smiled. My dad from Mekah called to wish her happy birthday and so did my other brother who is still studying. I gave my mom's present after Maghrib. She was speechless because I gave her a watch that is more or less like the watch my dad gave her a couple years back and was stolen in a mosque while she was performing her solat. She just stood there looking at the watch with tears in the corner of her eyes waiting to fall and thanked me with two kisses.
And now it is already a new year. My last year's resolution had to be carried forward to this year. And I don't think that I'd be making new resolutions. Just trying to fulfill the past years resolution.
Oh.. I forgot to mention that there was this time my dad called from Mekah. It was his second phone call and he asked me if anyone has asked my hand in marriage. I laughed and he said that he had prayed that I find my soulmate soon. He reminded me to never give up in praying for my soulmate and try not to be too serious and smile more. I laughed at that remark but I know that it is true. My friends say that I would have a 'fierce' look on my face if I walk alone. I think that it comes naturally. I have a feeling of inferior when it comes to being alone. So, to overcome this problem, I'd put on a serious face (some call it my fierce face) during schooldays. But I guess it has become a habit. But I do smile a lot. Maybe on certain times I'd be too serious. Okay, I'll have to work on that.
Anyway, after my dad said that he had prayed for me to settle down soon, I was fought over two people in my office - my boss and a coordinator in my office. The problem is that they fought over me because each of them wants me to be under them. Actually there is a new unit here and the coordinator would like me to handle the administration stuff in the unit (and no other responsibilities). But I was appointed in the center itself and my job spec involves things I do now. The 2 people fighting over me are women. My colleague teased me and said that maybe my dad said the wrong prayers because women were fighting over me and not men. I laughed out loud at the remark.
So, one thing for sure, my new year resolution would be smile more and wait for people (men) fighting over me. Ha..ha..
Happy New Year people!
Anyway, I miss writing. I have this note book for me to jot down anything I'd like to write. But it always happen to be at the wrong place at the right time. I have to do something about this and I'll keep it in my bag where ever I go.
I spent the last couple of weeks buried in tonnes of work. But I managed to sneak out to go shopping on Christmas eve(I usually do this every year just for the sake of discounts on bargains - I know that it sounds pathetic, but I need to save up and I see that this is the best way). I went shopping at KLCC. And guess what, being a shopaholic, I got myself a 100ml perfume from CD (won't mention which one), 4 pairs of new heels (which I don't even know when I'd be wearing them) and some personal stuff. Looking and my spending in one day, I'd say that to save up is quite impossible.
Well, I felt great that day. But today, I feel like I just can't wait for this month's pay day. The following week (30th Dec), I finished up my unrecorded leave and went to KLCC again. But this time, I was just there to catch a movie and have lunch. I rushed back and went straight to Alamanda to meet my cute 'boyfriend' who flew in from Bandung for a concert on New Year's day. I kind of felt out of place seeing all the teenagers and suddenly felt like I was in Bandung myself with people here and there speaking their language with the slang. I just found a corner and sat there with my friends. And then something unexpected happened. Peterpan was brought to the stage and they passed us! I saw Ariel (the vocalist of Peterpan and whom I really adore) within 2 feet away from me! As other fans would be screaming their lungs out, I just stared and froze. HE WAS SO CUTE! And I just stood there in awe.
Peterpan was in Alamanda in conjuction with their concert and they were for the meet the fans session for half an hour. Ariel just sang one verse of Tak Bisakah. But that was enough for me. Because till this day, when I remember that day, I'd be putting on this silly grin on my face.
The last day of 2005 I once again went to Alamanda. This time to buy an entertainment rack at Carrefour and went to Secret Recipe to get a cake for my mom's surprise birthday party at my uncle's house. My mom got a pair of baju kurung from my uncle and another birthday cake (which was also from SR) and a card. My mom said that my youngest brother and I didn't even bother to wish her happy birthday, let alone give her a present. We just kept quite and smiled. My dad from Mekah called to wish her happy birthday and so did my other brother who is still studying. I gave my mom's present after Maghrib. She was speechless because I gave her a watch that is more or less like the watch my dad gave her a couple years back and was stolen in a mosque while she was performing her solat. She just stood there looking at the watch with tears in the corner of her eyes waiting to fall and thanked me with two kisses.
And now it is already a new year. My last year's resolution had to be carried forward to this year. And I don't think that I'd be making new resolutions. Just trying to fulfill the past years resolution.
Oh.. I forgot to mention that there was this time my dad called from Mekah. It was his second phone call and he asked me if anyone has asked my hand in marriage. I laughed and he said that he had prayed that I find my soulmate soon. He reminded me to never give up in praying for my soulmate and try not to be too serious and smile more. I laughed at that remark but I know that it is true. My friends say that I would have a 'fierce' look on my face if I walk alone. I think that it comes naturally. I have a feeling of inferior when it comes to being alone. So, to overcome this problem, I'd put on a serious face (some call it my fierce face) during schooldays. But I guess it has become a habit. But I do smile a lot. Maybe on certain times I'd be too serious. Okay, I'll have to work on that.
Anyway, after my dad said that he had prayed for me to settle down soon, I was fought over two people in my office - my boss and a coordinator in my office. The problem is that they fought over me because each of them wants me to be under them. Actually there is a new unit here and the coordinator would like me to handle the administration stuff in the unit (and no other responsibilities). But I was appointed in the center itself and my job spec involves things I do now. The 2 people fighting over me are women. My colleague teased me and said that maybe my dad said the wrong prayers because women were fighting over me and not men. I laughed out loud at the remark.
So, one thing for sure, my new year resolution would be smile more and wait for people (men) fighting over me. Ha..ha..
Happy New Year people!
Am i really never good enough for you?
8:52 AM
0 commented
8:52 AM
0 commented