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Tuesday, December 06, 2005

♥ A Hectic Week and The Thing About Being Single

I have been buried under tonnes of work - official and personal. I miss my ramblings so much that I can't even think where to start! Thanks a million to my beloved 'fans' of my ramblings for being concerned of my absence.

I think that for this week, this is the one and only entry that I can manage to squeeze for the time being. On Thursday, I'll be leaving for BTN - which I once loved but now I think that I am too 'old' for the training. Thanks to the so-called SSM I have to attend this course for the 4th time in my life! (Actually because I know that my stamina level is so low these days that I am reluctant to go. But I hope that there'll be tonnes of gorgeous guys to 'cuci mata.')

My dad has been nagging about me settling down. The thing is that it's not that I don't want to, but I have not found anyone to fit in the description of my partner. My dad said that he'll only give me four months to settle down and he is serious.

Four months?! What can I do in four months? Get to know the 'candidate' might even take longer. And making sure that I can cope with the fact of sharing the rest of my life with him is another thing to sit down and consider. I just sat there laughing at the idea.

I thought that it will end. I mean the urging-me-to-settle-down-in-four-months. But I guess that he is seriuos because that matter came up last night after helding a kenduri tahlil and kesyukuran as my dad will be performing his Haj (on behalf of my Tok (his late mother)). I guess he is seriuos and said that I better make plans of my life and have a target in life (which I do have, but the matter of settling down has passed three years ago).

I am not saying that I am against men or marriage. When the time comes, I'd love to get married and have kids. But the thing is that, I haven't found anyone who would want to share his life with me. I hope that I am not sounding desparate here. But don't get me wrong. Most of the people are pointing fingers at single women. And a recent survey that was published in the papers said that 70% of career women are single. Who can understand more about what's happening and the cause of this other than a single-career-women herself right?

I once told this matter to a friend of mine (who happens to be the opposite sex and I was attracted to once). He said that women are too choosy in searching for their life partners. I said that of course that we need to choose because we are sharing our lives and we need to find someone that we can trust, be our friend when we need one and a shoulder to cry on. He agreed on that but he said that sometimes men (not all and according to him - no offense) are a bit 'dumb' when it comes to sensitivity. So, if a woman likes a particular man, just make a move and give him hints about our feelings. I'd have to disagree on that because I still hold strong on the saying of 'jangan jadi perigi yang cari timba'.

I don't know why but I just feel uncomfortable to be the one starting the sparks of a relationship. But I do know that when it's 'late' I regret by not making the first move when I know that that particular person also has feelings for me.

So, guys and girls out there, if you feel that you have found your partner out there, don't hesitate to try the waters. You'll never know what you'll find.

Have a great week everyone!

Am i really never good enough for you?
11:58 AM
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