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Wednesday, November 16, 2005

♥ One year older, one year wiser

Some people say that when you get older, you tend to get wiser. Maybe it is true because you tend to get more matured after some hands-on experience in life. The best way to learn is from experiencing.

I remember the first time being independent. After all these years, when I look back to my 'history' I found out that I was a bit 'dependant' on others. I mean, even making a phone call to ask information, I would hesitate and ask others to do it for me. I would just make excuses and ask other people around me to make the calls.

I don't know why I was like that. At times, going to restrooms in my schooldays, I would ask friends to accompany me. I would be terrified if I had to go alone. Even when a teacher asks me to meet them in their offices, I would ask a friend to accompany me.

But those were the days. I was even like that in school and I was staying 'away' from my parents (it was a semi-boarding school and I got the chance to live in a hostel). I thought that it was because I was in the lower secondary and was adjusting to be independant.

As I grew up and got a better offer to pursue my upper secondary in a MRSM, I thought that the scenery would change. It did - but only a small part. I still needed friends by my side no matter what. I could not 'survive' on my own.

As years past, and I finished my secondary school, I started to 'detach' myself from my friends. In my university years, I would still cling on to them from time to time, but I tried to survive on my own as semesters changed.

I was surprised the first time I started to be fully independent. The feeling of freedom and being totally independent was overwhelming. I never thought that I would 'feel' that way. From that day onwards, I would totally feel confident and independent even being alone.

But at times, I still miss the clingy person I used to be. I still miss my friends no matter where they are now. I just miss hanging out with them and being pampered by them. They would do almost everything for me or accompany me anywhere because they knew that I could not survive on my own.

And today, I am a year older and maybe a year wiser (I hope so). I have learnt that the best teacher in life is experiencing what life has to offer. The sweetness, bitterness, sadness, joy and success and everything in life would be the best 'teacher' to change a person to be wiser.

Am i really never good enough for you?
11:06 AM
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